I Should Have Known
by sparkybitterness
Summary: Today is the day I have to go to my husband’s funeral. I am going to go and I am going to cry. She should have known the truth and she did all along, even if she choose to ignore it.


A/N: Here's a little piece of work I thought up this morning. Must have been in an angsty mood. Hmmm, just in time for Veteran's Day. Thank you, Veterans. Anyways, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Just to clarify, Roy's wife is narrating.

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Today is the day I have to go to my husband's funeral. I am going to go and I am going to cry, this I know. At least we don't have any children to make this harder for me. We've only been married for about 10 months and somehow I knew this day would come before I was ready to face the truth.

When I get out of the dark car in the graveyard, tears are already leaking out of my eyes, for a different reason than these people think. As I walk with the funeral procession, a sea of blue uniforms eye me carefully. I am, after all, the great General Mustang's widow.

Roy's best friends and fellow comrades are his pallbearers. Lieutenants Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Fuery all carry the wooden box General Roy Mustang lies forever still in. It pains me to say husband, for he really wasn't mine. We were by all legal rights and to everyone's eyes married, but we really weren't. I'd always know that, I think.

Roy had requested no priest, so the procession and actual funeral are over rather fast. Havoc made a heartbreaking speech on the podium. I wonder briefly why Riza Hawkeyedidn't give it, but that didn't matter.

After the speech was over, there was not a dry eye in the cemetery but for one person. This, I could see, was his right-hand woman, Riza Hawkeye. Why was not she crying for her fallen commander?

General Grumman handed me a folded Amestris Flag. My tears fell on that as I clutched it close. The last part was the part I dreaded the most. The presentation of arms and salute was next. Riza Hawkeye stepped up with those carrying guns. General Grumman called out the orders. All of the soldiers raised their arm to salute him.

Each shot rang out like a piercing arrow. After that was over and they stepped back, I saw that Riza Hawkeye was now crying as she saluted. I had only met her five times before today and I'd thought her as heartless. I guess she wasn't as cold.

When it was all over, everyone shook my hand and smiled sadly. "Too young to be a widow." I heard that whispered more than once. How right they were. Still, I felt like an imposter. I shouldn't be the one they shake hands with and whisper about. It should be the one he really loved, not me.

Soon, the number of people dwindled down to a few. Havoc glanced at me and asked, "Mrs. Mustang would you like me to escort you to your car?"

"No thank you, Lieutenant Havoc. I would like a moment alone with him." I don't know why I told him that. I just did.

He nodded and walked away with the other lieutenants except Riza Hawkeye. The others left soon enough and I made my way to the grave only to find someone already talking to him.

"It's going to rain today." She said softly. A few more tears slipped down her cheeks. She started sobbing and I hate myself all over again.

I should have known the whole time. He wasn't in love with me. He was in love with Riza Hawkeye. Why he married me, I have no idea. Between the way he talked of her and the way she acted around him and the way the others watched her at our wedding, I should have known. She loved him just as much as he loved her and I knew that. Still, I hoped that maybe he could love me just as much. I was wrong and now I couldn't correct my mistakes.

"Roy, when you married her, I felt broken. Instead of telling you how I felt, I kept it all in. I'm so stupid, Roy. I should have told you. Still, you loved her and there was nothing that could have been done. Now, you're dead because I failed you. I failed you and now you're dead." Her tears were more rapid now and ran like a waterfall.

"I loved you and now you're dead and I want to be dead with you. That's not my place anymore, it's hers. I can't die because that would be a petty act of taking my life for no reason. You want her next to you when she dies, not me. I should have known all along, Roy. I just wanted to let you know, I loved you and I still do." She turned and fled without seeing me.

I should have known all along not to tear these two apart. The Flame Alchemist and the First Lieutenant were meant to be together. I was not the only one who had lost something today by far. The other lieutenants had lost a friend and comrade. The military had lost the Flame Alchemist. I had lost my husband. Riza Hawkeyehad lost the most today though and I can't even be mad at her for that. She had lost so much more than a superior and friend. She had lost her everything- her will to live, to continue on while the rest of us could. More however, she lost her true love and it was my fault, not hers.

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That was a very emotional piece for me. I hope you enjoyed it, even if it was a little sad.


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